We know your problem. You’ve got your copy of Football Manager 2015, you’ve installed it, you’ve uploaded your picture, you’ve convinced yourself that your LA Fitness card entitles you to a double figure attribute for ‘fitness coaching.’ But who are you going to manage? We asked Iain Macintosh to come up with five challenges that cross both borders and budgets.
To hell with dynastic or holistic management. Sometimes, you can only feel like a boss when you roll into a crisis club, organise a golf day, put smiles on faces and bring order to the chaos. If you’re that kind of go-getter, you need to have a crack at Blackpool. The coaches are wretched, the facilities stink, there’s hardly any money and the squad is a disparate band of restless small time mercenaries. It’s not all bad though. Joe Lewis is an excellent goalkeeper, Andrea Orlandi can ping it like the best of them and Nathan Delfouneso can run at Mach 3. There is hope here, if you look hard enough. Would suit: Harry Redknapp
For those managers who feel guilty about taking another man’s job, perhaps Newcastle is a viable option? Yes, Alan Pardew has won two games on the bounce, but it won’t last will it? They need fresh ideas at St James Park, a shake-up of the old guard and someone who’ll put some pressure on Mike Ashley. For there aren’t many teams in Europe with the unfulfilled potential of the Magpies. If you could turn them around and lead them to glory, by thunder, you’d never have to pay for a drink on Tyneside again. This is one for those managers who like to build an empire. Would suit: David Moyes
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody should try to manage the dinosaur. Hamburg have an enormous stadium, they have excellent facilities, they have money to spend and yet they still lurch from one crisis to another, never, ever making the most of their resources. This is a perfect job. You’ve got a special player in Rafael van der Vaart, you’ve got a perfect target man in Pierre-Michel Lasogga, you’ve got a hard defender in Heiko Westermann. In short, you’ve got everything you need to turn the dinosaur into Godzilla and then lay waste to all that stands before you. Would suit: Sam Allardyce
If you’re one of those slow and steady types who just wants to put down roots and manage the same team for 20 years, Auxerre is the perfect posting. They’ve had hard times since the eventual retirement of legendary boss Guy Roux, sliding down into the lower reaches of the second flight. There’s not much in the squad, though the pace of Livio Nabab will come in handy, but it’s the facilities that will grab you. A great training ground, excellent youth coaching, a well established recruitment network and a 21,000 all seater stadium that’s big enough to sustain you in the top flight. Would suit: Paul Tisdale
Relegated from the second flight in 2002, it is Stockport’s fate to now dwell in the Vanarama Conference North. Could you drag them back? The chairman wants out, there isn’t much money and the club isn’t even full-time anymore. But the training facilities are far in advance of what you’d normally find at this level and a 10,000 capacity stadium offers room for growth. Former Everton youngster James Milligan prowls the midfield and striker Scott Spencer has an acceleration of 17. And they only expect mid-table in the first season. You could do this, you know… Would suit: John Still
READ: Championship Manager / Football Manager: iain Macintosh's Best Ever XI