The ‘forum chatter’ section of this column is fast becoming the place where proposed swap deals go to die. As we all know, it is hard enough to get two football clubs to agree a valuation for one player. In terms of complexity, adding another to the equation suddenly makes what should be a simple transaction, somewhat akin to understanding nuclear physics.
Today’s cash + player deal rumour that simply won’t happen, sees Chelsea parting with Fernando Torres and some hard-earned, in exchange for Napoli’s Edison Cavani. We won’t be surprised if Cavani joins Chelsea and Torres is reunited with Rafa Benitez, but they will be separate deals.
The word on the street is that Borussia Dortmund have grown tired of Bayern Munich treating them like a glorified feeder club and have told the Bavarians that they will not allow Robert Lewandowski to join them.
This has lead to the English media assuming that Lewandowski will come to the Premier League and choosing to ignore the fact that clubs like Real Madrid exist. Manchester United, Manchester City and Chelsea are the three clubs linked, which might have something to do with the fact that they are the only three English clubs who could afford the Polish striker.
The Daily Bale
We present a new section to this column, in the form of ‘The Daily Bale’, which we’ll use to collate every bit of spurious Gareth Bale transfer tittle-tattle that will no doubt be boring us all until August 31st.
Today’s entry sees the Real Madrid Sporting Director Zinedine Zidane win the award for worst negotiator of the year. Zidane has claimed that Madrid will have to break the world transfer record to get Bale. If that means that Real are going to start the bidding at £80m, then expect Daniel Levy to ask for at least £100m.
Come and get me
One of the most improbable deals of the 2013 January transfer window was Alan Hutton’s loan move to Mallorca. Fans of Spurs and Aston Villa couldn’t help but be intrigued as to how Hutton’s trademark blend of poor positioning and dangerous tackles, would fare against Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi.
Hutton actually did OK in La Liga and surprised people by not getting sent off every week. Less surprisingly, Hutton has spoken out to say that he wants to return to Mallorca. Even if a transfer doesn’t materialise, we’re sure that he can get himself on a Club 18-30 holiday to Magaluf.
Celtic have agreed a fee for the Portuguese striker Amido Balde, who rather disappointingly has a full head of hair.
At 6ft 4” tall, Balde is best described as a big unit and scored nine goals in 27 league games for Vitoria Guimaraes last season. Crystal Palace are also interested in the striker, but if he wanted a move to a Championship team he could just join one and save himself from wasting a year of his life.
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