The 5 Most Annoying Things About The Premier League Weekend

Transfer deadline day

Men with two phones, men with no brains. People with too many Twitter accounts. Rio Ferdinand tweeting like a teenager. Jim White thinking he matters. Every source being Sky sources. Hell is a world with two feeds of Sky Sports News slightly out of sync. It’s not getting any better. Get the derringer, and lock the door.


Van Gaal panic

The pressure is starting to tell on Louis van Gaal. Questions should already be asked about Van Gaal’s ability to rebuild Manchester United. Van Gaal has failed to improve Manchester United, and they are now even lower than they were under David Moyes. After spending £150 million of new players, Manchester United are struggling. Such is Twitter, and such is the response to events by supposedly reasonable journalists.

Let’s get things straight right away, because it would be tedious to allow these arguments to fester.

Van Gaal is under no pressure from Manchester United to turn around the club after three league games, with 10 members of his squad injured, when his new signings have been available for 107 minutes combined, when two of them (at least) have not yet trained with the squad because Ed Woodward has dithered for so long, when four senior members of the playing staff left before the start of the season and more are to leave, when the team are getting used to a radical change in formation and manager, and when the manager patiently explained to the press and all those listening that he told the club what to expect when he was appointed, namely that he would need several months to get his players to properly understand his methods.

The sooner people tattoo this into the insides of their eyelids, in fluorescent ink so it cannot be ignored, the better.


Early season hype

Last week: Mauricio Pochettino has reinvigorated Spurs after the idiocy of Tim Sherwood’s gilet-covered, cheddar-scented reign of terror, and Spurs have benefitted from relative inaction in transfers. This week: Mauricio Pochettino has failed to instil the mental toughness that was already evident when he took over, and needs to be active in the transfer market.

Last week: Arsene Wenger and Arsenal finally have the mental toughness of champions after scoring a late equaliser against Everton, and grabbing a late winner against Crystal Palace. This week: Arsene Wenger and Arsenal have been indulged for far too long and yet again it’s the same failures as ever after a flaky display against Leicester.

As above with Van Gaal, some people who really should know better have been changing their mood and outlook quicker than an increasingly drunk married couple. Weekends are not the time to make directly contradictory opinions from the previous week unless there is evidence to suggest it’s actually necessary. Calm down, put the derringer and/or bottle of Champagne down, and relax. OR PANIC. Or relax. OR PANIC.


Open letters and fickle fans


As established, fans can be some of the most fickle groups around, but players and clubs are more than willing to help things stay this way.

Angel Di Maria told fans he would only have ever left Real Madrid for Manchester United, despite previously agreeing terms with PSG and also telling Real Madrid fans he never wanted to leave. Daniel Agger wrote a letter to Liverpool fans, assuring them that he would always be a supporter of the club. Mario Balotelli welcomed the weekend with a #YNWA hashtag. Loic Remy ended last season in the stands supporting Arsenal, but began it at QPR, and is now with Chelsea despite Arsenal matching his release clause.

Fans have been dismissive and then receptive, angry and then delighted, or stupid in a happy way and then angry in a stupid way. Fans have their emotions toyed with on a weekly basis - almost all of it is a lie. So calm down, put down the Tweetdeck and/or phoneline to 606 down, and relax. OR BE FURIOUS. Or relax. OR BE FURIOUS.


Arsenal’s transfer policy

While the flip-flopping on Arsenal might be annoying, none of it is actually as annoying as Arsenal itself.

For years it has been said that Olivier Giroud is simply not enough for a club with serious ambitions, and that another senior striker is necessary. Arsene Wenger considered his options, considered his options, considered his options, finished fourth in the league, considered his options, bought a winger from Barcelona, considered his options, bought a young defender from Southampton, considered an options, waited for Giroud to be injured, considered his options, saw Chelsea put in a bit for Remy, considered his options, put in a bid for Remy after he’d decided to join Chelsea, and went back to considering his options again.


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