If Gareth Bale Moved To Manchester United... What Would Happen Next?

We've learned quite a lot about Gareth Bale in the past few days.

Events started with his sexual release of a free-kick against Espanyol on Saturday - Vine crack if there was some, and the stuff of Galatico goosebumps. In the same match, bizarrely, Bale was booed for being a hogger.

That's booed for being a hogger at Real Madrid, the team that gave you the original Ronaldo (hogger), the current Ronaldo (hogger), Arjen Robben (hogger extraordinaire) and historically loves to sign a hogger.

Basically the Bernabeu is Hoggerwarts. Don't like hoggers? Go support Stoke, or Real Sociedad. But anyway, I digress.

From there, we learned that Ronaldo (CR7 version) really likes calling Bale "Gaz" and thinks he's good at football. Carlo Ancelotti agrees and like Ronaldo would rather Bale stayed than left.

But here's the thing. The dark lords of the rumour mill say Manchester United are serious about making an offer for Bale, to save him from the spoilt Madristras and make him king of Old Trafford instead.

Nonsense you say? Well there are plenty of reasons to believe it could happen and the biggest one is a huge huge pile of corporate cash shipped over from Mancashter United. That's American debt gold, in case you're wondering, and enough to buy Madrid whoever they want apart from Lionel Messi.

So let's say it happens. Here are five things that will almost certainly be a direct result of the deal...


1. Real Madrid will sign David De Gea

This one is so obvious is barely needs pointing out. Does anybody really believe United's capture of 32-year-old Victor Valdes was just about having a credible deputy for Doughnuts De Gea?

Could it be that Valdes really enjoys kicking half-volleys to another goalkeeper in the warm-up and lives for playing at Cambridge in the FA Cup?

No chance. United need leverage in the Bale deal and it comes in the form of one of the world's best goalkeepers going to the Bernabeu. De Gea, like Ronaldo before him, ultimately covets a return to glory in Spain. He can have it if Bale comes the other way.


2. United will win the 2015/16 Premier League

Manchester United v Chelsea - Premier League : News Photo

Along with Bale, Louis van Gaal will bring in at least one world-class defender and  probably a world-class midfielder too. He may even add a world-class striker, especially if he hates Radamel Falcao as much as it appears he does.

United would then have a solid spine and some quite preposterous pace to play with, in the shape of Angel Di Maria and Bale. Add to the mix the class of Wayne Rooney, Daley Blind, Juan Mata and Co, and you've a pretty good formula for winning the title - especially with Chelsea so tired after winning every trophy going this season (that's my prediction) and a new manager at Man City (another prediction).

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3. Robin van Persie will be reinvigorated

Van Persie has not really cut it so far this season and there's only so long he can live off his World Cup diving header and the fact he's as Dutch as Van Gaal. He's a pure finisher not being supplied enough bullets and his input is struggling to justify a place in the United starting XI.

Bale's arrival could change everything for him however. The Welshman delivered 16 assists for Real Madrid last season and he would give United the ability to get in behind defences on the break.

That it turn supplies buffet goals for a predator ready to pounce - a proven goalscorer who makes intelligent runs. Step forward RvP, providing of course Bale is less of a hogger than he was on Saturday.


4. Fan identity crisis as United arrive at the Galatico table

Manchester United v Southampton - Premier League : News Photo

A United deal for Bale would be confirmation that they're ready and willing to play Galatico stakes with the likes of Madrid, Manchester City, Chelsea and PSG.

Would it be a departure from the Sir Alex Ferguson ethos? Not exactly, as Ferguson himself made some meaty buys in his time, but it would change our perspective of United's transfer policy and suddenly make virtually any deal possible.

Remember when United fans said City and Chelsea bought the title?

The Bale deal would be very exciting in a way, but it would also be resented in some quarters by the fans who lived through the class of '92 and, with Bale's signature, would now be certain it could never happen again.

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5. Bale becomes a cult United hero anyway

Such is Bale's work ethic and wholehearted application that it's inevitable he would win fans over at Old Trafford. Players with pace and incision get fans on their feet and United are crying out for a new figurehead to hang their future on.

Might Rooney resent Bale's status? Not as long as he's getting paid as much, he won't, because Bale's athleticism would shine more light on Rooney's passing ability and put less pressure on him to carry his team.