It’s been reported that Spurs are looking to tempt Aston Villa to part with Christian Benteke by offering Jermain Defoe in part exchange.
If you believe this then you are neglecting the truth that transfer deals that involve player swaps are rarer than Villa keeping a clean sheet. You are also ignoring the fact that Paul Lambert had no interest in playing Darren Bent, so is therefore unlikely to want to replace Benteke with another poacher who can’t hold up the ball and is always offside.
Almost as unlikely, is the news that Monaco are ready to offer John Terry a tax free £150,000 a week to form the world’s slowest central defensive partnership with his old Chelsea colleague Ricardo Carvalho.
We’ve heard of deep-lying defences, but that one would have to be stationed on the edge of the six-yard box.
Come and get me
Having fled Ligue 1 at the merest whiff of a large salary from abroad for the last couple of decades, French footballers are now yearning for a return to their homeland. As hardened cynics, we can’t help but think that it has something to do with the fact that Paris St Germain and the aforementioned Monaco are offering the type of salaries not seen in France since Edith Piaf was in her pomp.
Arsenal’s Bacary Sagna certainly seems open to returning to France (and seeing his bank balance rise to eight figures.) Asked about a move home, he said: “It is possible. We would have to see in which conditions and, in sporting terms, what they propose.” We’re guessing that the first part of that sentence is where the truth lies.
Manchester City look like they’ve learned from their mistake of making Scott Sinclair last summer’s glamour signing and are now splashing the cash on some rather more exciting names.
Hot on the heels of Jesus Navas’ move to the Etihad, comes news that a fee has been agreed for the services of Fernandinho from Shakhtar Donetsk. The price is said to be around the £27m mark, which shows that City have also learned their lesson from trying to comply with this FFP nonsense.
Signed, sealed, delivered
Also spending big are Barcelona, who yesterday completed a £48.6m deal to bring Neymar’s astounding skills and silly haircuts to La Liga.
The Brazilian explained his move the the Camp Nou thus: “Money is OK but happiness takes priority. We decided to come to Barcelona. I had a lot of offers but I followed my heart.” Luckily for Neymar’s accountants, agents and hangers on, Barcelona is not just a club where he is likely to find happiness, but also a six-figure weekly pay packet.